I can't believe I forgot. I never thought I would forget why I was teaching. I think back to the summer before I began teaching and I had so many beautiful plans and ideals. I was going to change the world, make every student feel important and reach their full potential. I guess it's not any different with parenting. I don't know about other pregnant mothers, but I remember lying in bed at night, dreaming about a day at the park with my perfectly dressed child, swinging her around in my arms as a whirlwind of autumn leaves drift softly around us in our perfect vortex. Sadly, as soon as I had my perfect little baby, I quickly realized in my exhausted stupor that I was so so so so wrong. Even as I was trying to prepare breakfast, calm a screaming child, clean up from dinner the night before, and start a load of laundry, I was never going to make it to the park, because if things actually ever quieted down enough to have a beautiful moment in the park, I would rather crawl on to my couch and sleep. Nonetheless, I would never give up being a parent, because the really beautiful moments that are squashed between all of the painful, exhausting moments make the whole experience worthwhile.
Parenting parallels teaching in so many ways. I see that now. Teaching is mostly about the daily drudge of fighting over assignments, discipline and grading, and usually at the end of the day we are exhausted. But every now and then you have this moment with your students that reminds you how beautiful learning really is. I was recently reminded of this during one of my classes as we discussed Elie Wiesel's book, Night. One of my students irritatingly blurted out a question in the midst of a discussion instead of raising his hand, but his question made me stop and ponder. It got my attention. He asked me if I like what I do. I looked into the serious eyes of my student and saw that the short answer would not suffice. So I pondered for a moment. Then I looked back at my student and said, "Yes. I can't think of anything else I would rather be doing right now at this very moment than share this novel with you." I realized in my answer why it is exactly that I love my job. As I swim through the unrealistic bureaucratic and societal demands of my job, when it's me and my students inside the walls of my room, I offer them something to war against the ignorance of the world. There are many ways to deal with daily problems, but how do you fight a war against hate, racism or poverty? The only way we can fend off the social diseases of the world is through education. I can't believe I forgot, but GOD BLESS the student who reminded me with his eye-piercing question. I am proud of what I do. I can't think of anything else more important than to release and shape future generations, whether as a parent or an educator.
